Sixteen years and three children into her marriage, Nancy Michaels’ husband dealt her the blow of a lifetime. Out of the blue, he told her he wanted a divorce — but he wouldn’t tell her or their kids why he was leaving. This is Part 2 of the series on Life After Divorce.
Going through a divorce means no longer being part of a couple, a reality that can come as a relief or a frightening prospect. “For the person who sees him or herself as multifaceted, it’s generally a lot easier. But if someone has been nothing but a spouse and saw that as the most important role, it can be pretty crushing,” Coleman tells WebMD.
Looking at this time as a period of self-exploration is one way to overcome feelings of isolation and fear. “Take up new hobbies, activities, interests — expand yourself. Stay busy in a constructive way,” suggests Patricia Covalt, PhD, a Denver-based licensed marriage therapist. Exploring untapped interests can be both a place to positively let go of the grief brought on by divorce and a way to redefine yourself. Wood, devastated by not seeing his children on a daily basis, threw himself into starting and cultivating a community garden. “It was a big help. I’d physically exhaust myself working there. It kept my mind from wandering,” he says. Taking ownership of the garden also served as a productive hobby, in which Wood grew not only seasonal vegetables and fruits but also stronger friendships with other community members.
Fredman Baken & Kosan is a Westchester, New York Divorce Law Firm dedicated to providing objective and experienced advice to assist you in making informed decisions, during a time when you may be feeling confused and overwhelmed, so that your family can transition from uncertainty to security. Call (914) 997 9070 today.